No to Facebook - Am I the new breed of technophobe?
On August 11th 2007 I committed facebook suicide. This actually coincided with alot of online articles about others doing the same. While I arrived at the point of self destruction( digitally speaking) on my own it seemed as if others throughout the interweb were also going through the same lifestyle resurrection.
I was a casual facebook user, I briefly maintained 2 accounts in an attempt to separate my personal life from my work life. I think it was when these two accounts began to overlap that I realised it was time to end it all. I'm not a particularly private person ( I'm writing my thoughts online for the world to read aren't I?) but I do enjoy a certain degree of separation between worklife and private life. The idea of 'watching my step' in the online world really bothered me. Possibly because I worked in a corporate environment and was surrounded by colleagues rather than life long friends. ( Not saying that some aren't friends now..but you all know what I mean)
Facebook sells itself as the mechanism for establishing and maintaining friendships. Users build a list of people whom they wish to remain in contact with and then proceed to 'poke', 'shuffle', 'tag' or whatever them whenever the thought occurs. I don't enjoy this redefinition of friendship. For me a friend is someone who chooses to be in your life, enriches your life and is someone whom you trust enough to let go should they go 'silent' for a time.
The services Facebook provides are of the lowest calibre of contact. A nudge here, an open party to everyone in the 'cool chums list' invite there - In my opinion these 'services' do nothing to feed the human soul infact quite the opposite, only serve to feed our innate fear of being alone. A friend is someone you should have no expectations of, someone you can relate to but not need anything in particular from. In Facebook you send a poke and you expect one in return - otherwise we're at war, right?
The dilution of the friendship definition will (once again my thoughts, my speculations here) will only serve to increase the neurosis conditions that drive us loopy in our day to day existence. Time and time again I meet people who question where their time goes. Think for moment when was the last time you just sat, by yourself and truly experienced time. No distractions, no communication - just you and the infinite space of the universe around you? This is the true sense of time, the true meaning of here and now. Whilst Facebook is just one facet through which our lives are being clogged up and robbed of time it is one so prevalent I personally chose to cut it out.
There is so much to write about with this subject, another example would be the removal of friends - an in your face denial of your previosly 'solid' relationship. People post delicious photos of themselves onto facebook in the hope that everyone will see them as they are( a minor celeb right?). Someone everyone wants to add because they've got a catchy tagline..
As I travel I'm beginning to feel the pinch. People I've met readily exchange facebook details and vow to keep in touch. I'm left on the outside and quite frankly I like it that way. If you want my friendship then I'd like something more that a 'poke' and 'smiley'. My life is too precious to while away hours scanning someone elses Facebook for photos of us 'Pissed up in Ulan Bator'. I'm not above Facebook, I just recognise that my nature is particularly susceptable to its darkest side and have tried to nip such an indulgence in the bud.
Yesterday I spent an amazing day climbing the Great Wall with two others(read more in my Bejing blog entry), we didn't get to exchange emails yet I consider the memory of that day (and the conversations about our life experiences) a richer reward than yet another 'add' on my Facebook profile.the fact that our contact ends there leaves this chapter closed. An encapsulated experience for me to enjoy as opposed to an open 'sore' in the world of Facebook.
I honetly fear the worst for society as the Facebook definition of friend becomes the norm. I think about my nieces and wonder what the hell kind of world they'll mature into. I can't help but think of the book A Brave New World, but whenever I do I promptly try to shake such thoughts from my mind, but they remain there all the same, silent - feeding my Facebook denial.
"take me back to the old skool,
cos i'm an old fool who's so cool,
if you want to get down let me show you the way,
WHOOMP there it is! "( sorry, i couldn't resist!)
I was a casual facebook user, I briefly maintained 2 accounts in an attempt to separate my personal life from my work life. I think it was when these two accounts began to overlap that I realised it was time to end it all. I'm not a particularly private person ( I'm writing my thoughts online for the world to read aren't I?) but I do enjoy a certain degree of separation between worklife and private life. The idea of 'watching my step' in the online world really bothered me. Possibly because I worked in a corporate environment and was surrounded by colleagues rather than life long friends. ( Not saying that some aren't friends now..but you all know what I mean)
Facebook sells itself as the mechanism for establishing and maintaining friendships. Users build a list of people whom they wish to remain in contact with and then proceed to 'poke', 'shuffle', 'tag' or whatever them whenever the thought occurs. I don't enjoy this redefinition of friendship. For me a friend is someone who chooses to be in your life, enriches your life and is someone whom you trust enough to let go should they go 'silent' for a time.
The services Facebook provides are of the lowest calibre of contact. A nudge here, an open party to everyone in the 'cool chums list' invite there - In my opinion these 'services' do nothing to feed the human soul infact quite the opposite, only serve to feed our innate fear of being alone. A friend is someone you should have no expectations of, someone you can relate to but not need anything in particular from. In Facebook you send a poke and you expect one in return - otherwise we're at war, right?
The dilution of the friendship definition will (once again my thoughts, my speculations here) will only serve to increase the neurosis conditions that drive us loopy in our day to day existence. Time and time again I meet people who question where their time goes. Think for moment when was the last time you just sat, by yourself and truly experienced time. No distractions, no communication - just you and the infinite space of the universe around you? This is the true sense of time, the true meaning of here and now. Whilst Facebook is just one facet through which our lives are being clogged up and robbed of time it is one so prevalent I personally chose to cut it out.
There is so much to write about with this subject, another example would be the removal of friends - an in your face denial of your previosly 'solid' relationship. People post delicious photos of themselves onto facebook in the hope that everyone will see them as they are( a minor celeb right?). Someone everyone wants to add because they've got a catchy tagline..
As I travel I'm beginning to feel the pinch. People I've met readily exchange facebook details and vow to keep in touch. I'm left on the outside and quite frankly I like it that way. If you want my friendship then I'd like something more that a 'poke' and 'smiley'. My life is too precious to while away hours scanning someone elses Facebook for photos of us 'Pissed up in Ulan Bator'. I'm not above Facebook, I just recognise that my nature is particularly susceptable to its darkest side and have tried to nip such an indulgence in the bud.
Yesterday I spent an amazing day climbing the Great Wall with two others(read more in my Bejing blog entry), we didn't get to exchange emails yet I consider the memory of that day (and the conversations about our life experiences) a richer reward than yet another 'add' on my Facebook profile.the fact that our contact ends there leaves this chapter closed. An encapsulated experience for me to enjoy as opposed to an open 'sore' in the world of Facebook.
I honetly fear the worst for society as the Facebook definition of friend becomes the norm. I think about my nieces and wonder what the hell kind of world they'll mature into. I can't help but think of the book A Brave New World, but whenever I do I promptly try to shake such thoughts from my mind, but they remain there all the same, silent - feeding my Facebook denial.
"take me back to the old skool,
cos i'm an old fool who's so cool,
if you want to get down let me show you the way,
WHOOMP there it is! "( sorry, i couldn't resist!)
Labels: my Thoughts, Technology, technophobe
Hey Richard, thanks for taking time to share a comment. I read your post and I like what you said here:
'The dilution of the friendship definition will (once again my thoughts, my speculations here) will only serve to increase the neurosis conditions that drive us loopy in our day to day existence.'
Oh..and I visited the Great Wall a long time ago. It was an amazing experience.... Glad you got the chance to climb it.
Hey Lad !
I loved you post about facebook. So real!
Just spent an hour on your blog trying to "catch up" with an old friend that I miss. I rather a pint on the pub than reading blogs but good to see you are, as usual better than well.
Hope to see you soon somewhere. Will be in Brazil for most of January if you fancy coming to Fortaleza ;)
Big Hugs
Arnold
I think to address something you said to me the other day... don't over think this.
Sure - on the periphery I now have a link to all these random people I once knew, but the way I interact with those I consider my closest friends has not changed. We don't poke each other (nor prod, sadly enough in some cases). Facebook is simply an extended contact list to anyone you've ever spoken to. I don't think it's the social aspect that these networking tools will ruin, I think the biggest change they'll instill will relate to how we view privacy (our own and our expectations of others).